“I will tell you what rule I observed when I was young, and too much addicted to childish diversions–never to spend more time in mere recreation in one day than I spent in private religious devotions.”
– Susanna Wesley (Mother of John & Charles Wesley)
John and Charles Wesley took on a lot of what they learned from their mother, a strict and structured life of devotion to God. In the pursuit of holiness, Susanna maintained this rule: never let your time spent in recreation last longer than your time spent focusing on God. I love that this mantra makes room for the possibility of diversions and recreation (as opposed to a holiness that leaves no room for play). But I’m curious how this lifestyle might work with another quote of Susanna’s:
“Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off your relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind; that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself.”
In other words, if your recreation (or your work for that matter) dulls your sense of wonder and love of God, that thing has become sin to you…even if that thing is not inherently sinful. This makes so much sense to me. I find so much that I do in life can either serve to enhance my love for God and neighbor. And sometimes, even those very same things can in fact diminish my love for God or for neighbor, especially if these actions numb me into a self-centered stupor.
It may sound strange, but I can recall a time where worship had become sin to me. I have memories of deep, charismatic, emotional worship experiences where I thought I was so lost in wonder and praise of God…only to find myself irritated and even mean to the people around me who weren’t experiencing God in the same way at the same time. I wanted to experience what I thought was a sort of God-fix, to close my eyes and raise my hands and feel the dopamine rush of that perfect worship song in that perfectly curated worship environment. I thought it was making me holier, making me love God more. But by and large, it wasn’t making me a disciple at all. For me, that kind of worship experience was actually making me more self-centered, more entitled, and so me-and-Jesus that I was more irritated with my neighbor than compassionate for them.
This can just as easily happen in traditional worship spaces…really, any space where we become demanding of a particular experience that comforts us or fits our preferences, but also leaves us grumpy and cold-hearted when we don’t get what we want out of worship.
Okay, one last Susanna Wesley quote to wrap this up:
“Help me, Lord, to remember that religion is not to be confined to the church…nor exercised only in prayer and meditation, but that every where I am in Thy Presence.”
A big part of the Gospel message is that Christ unlocked the divide between sacred and secular. We can cultivate eyes to see God at work, God with us, every where we go. The worship of God is meant to evoke wonder and humility, to open our hearts to deeper love for others, to awaken our souls. Does your worship help you to truly come alive? Not only to yourself but to God and neighbor as well? If God is sparking a revival in you or your community, is it just to make you feel good about yourself, or is it to widen your compassion and action for the least of these?