Grace abounds. I was leading a youth leaders meeting recently where we threw the agenda out the window because the students just needed to air out their insecurities. Some youth that I thought were full of confidence were actually daily facing the struggle of feeling not good enough. It reminded me that people tend to think I have it all together, but on the inside I’m always questioning if I’ve giving enough. The fact is, we’re all going onward to perfection but who of us has actually achieved it? Well, besides John Wesley of course.
I read about heroes of the faith and get into this comparison game where I measure my own works of piety and mercy next to theirs. And I fall dreadfully short. I look at people who are doing meaningful work with the marginalized and I question whether my pursuits are nearly as worthwhile. For all the positive feedback I get in my life, all it takes is one criticism and I’m devastated.
But grace abounds. The most transformational moment in John and Charles Wesley’s lives was when they fully accepted that Christ died for them and they didn’t have to prove their worth. They didn’t have to earn God’s love. We do good works to experience God’s love at work in this world, God promises to meet us there in those spaces of loving. I’m not going to get it all right. There’s always more work that could be done. But what I’m giving is enough for the moment that I’ve been given. And I serve a God who multiplies loaves and fishes.
After such a long isolation period with COVID, I’m finally back into the swing of regular in-person ministry. I love it and I’m also exhausted by it (in the best way). I feel like I have all this catch-up to do for all the time lost because of the pandemic. But the truth is, I just need to be faithful with what I’ve been entrusted. And I can trust that God’s grace will meet me there in the loving.
If you’re feeling weary, if you’re playing the comparison game, if you’re wondering whether you’re enough, grace abounds. You are swimming in the ocean of God’s love for you.