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Becoming Who We Are

Becoming Who We Are published on Purchase

“When we claim and constantly reclaim the truth of being the chosen ones, we soon discover within ourselves a deep desire to reveal to others their own chosenness. Instead of making us feel that we are better, more precious or valuable than others, our awareness of being chosen opens our eyes to the chosenness of others. That is the great joy of being chosen: the discovery that others are chosen as well. In the house of God there are many mansions. There is a place for everyone – a unique, special place. Once we deeply trust that we ourselves are precious in God’s eyes, we are able to recognize the preciousness of others and their unique places in God’s heart.”  – Henri Nouwen, Life of the Beloved

Henri Nouwen may be may favorite spiritual writer.  So it was daunting to write a comic strip trying to sum up his work around what it means to be the beloved children of God.  I watched a sermon of his that is the chief inspiration for this week’s comic, along with his books Life of the Beloved and The Wounded Healer.  Nouwen lived as a celibate Catholic priest who was larger than life.  He struggled with loneliness and a deep desire for intimate connection with others.  Nouwen had a way of acknowledging his own woundedness beside his belovedness that speaks to my soul like no one else has.  We are chosen by God, blessed and called beloved children.  We each have a unique brokenness that allows us to cling to God’s healing power and give ourselves back into the world in our woundedness.  Instead of being superheroes without weakness, being vulnerable and honest about our wounds allows us to truly give of ourselves to others.  And in the giving, we find true life.

Nouwen’s life resonates deeply with me because it came out after his death that he was a closeted gay man.  Only his closest friends knew this about him.  The darkest depression Nouwen faced was after a sort of break up with a close male friend, where Nouwen had become too needy in the friendship.  He never came out publicly because his publishers (and he, it seemed) did not want him to suddenly be boxed in as a sort of niche writer for only the gay community.  I get that. There’s an excellent article on Nouwen and the politics of coming out at this link.  For me, sharing my woundedness with you by coming out to you has been important because it has helped me heal wounds.  I am no longer ashamed of who I am, nor do I feel like being gay is something to be hidden.  For me, coming out to you was a way of normalizing the gay community in the world of faith.  Being gay and being a firm believer in Christ do not have to be exclusive to each other.

I wonder, what is your woundedness? Where do you most need to hear the voice from heaven say to you, “My beloved!” Do you believe God can heal you, and that in sharing your wounds you can give yourself to others in meaningful ways?  I don’t mean by bleeding all over them.  That’s not true vulnerability.  It’s a vulnerability that goes deep and acknowledges our common humanity, one that acknowledges that death is not the final failure but the final giving of ourselves.

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