Is there such a thing as perfect? A key feature of John Wesley’s theology was the doctrine of Christian perfection, or “a heart habitually filled with the love of God and neighbor,” and “having the mind of Christ and walking as he walked” (Sermon 40).  It’s not “perfect” in the sense of never making mistakes, always knowing the right thing to do, immaculate health, or freedom from temptations.  For Wesley, perfect is simply another word for holy.  And yet he struggled with using the term because to most people, perfection implies always having it all together.

During his time in Georgia, Wesley met 18-year-old Sophia, or Sophy, Hopkey on their long boat ride from England.  In their time, it was not unusual for a man in his early thirties, like Wesley, to court an 18-year-old.  As Wesley was learning from the Moravians about the heart lit aflame with love for God, he was also experiencing his first real crush in Sophy.  He was conflicted about his desires, and was very reticent to be alone with Sophy.  She was engaged to a “villain” and distressed over his imprisonment in Charleston for forgery, finding comfort and guidance only in John Wesley.  Wesley constantly sought his friends’ advice, and tried to act as her pastor, writing “I was careful to speak only on things pertaining to God. But on July [23?], after I had talked with her for some time, I took her by the hand and, before we parted, kissed her. And from this time I fear there was a mixture in my intention, though I was not soon sensible of it” (Read more from his Journal here).

Now today, we would see this whole incident as an example of an overstepping of clergy sexual ethics.  Wesley is unable to sort out is own intentions, and Hopkey is looking for Wesley to be both a pastor and possibly a lover…at the very least, her caregiver is pushing her romantically onto Wesley.  The social standards were different in Wesley’s day, but nevertheless, he himself admits to mixed intentions and confusion over the right thing to do.

I share this story with you in the context of Christian perfection because I think it helps to challenge our own ideals of what it means to have perfect love for God and neighbor.  For many Christians, we have this unhealthy concept of holiness that assumes we will only stay in God’s grace if we are “perfect,” if we never give into that temptation again, if we never fail again the same way we always did before.  Brene Brown says, “Perfectionism is the ultimate fear… People who are walking around as perfectionists… They are ultimately afraid that the world is going to see them for who they really are and they won’t measure up.” Maybe that’s why most of us are afraid to be authentic with other Christians, afraid to truly confess our sins.  We fall into this  shame trap that convinces us, “I can’t actually be perfect, but I need to pretend I am so people think God loves me, but I know the real me isn’t perfect, so maybe God doesn’t actually love me.”

No wonder Wesley struggled with the term, “Christian perfection.” And yet he maintained it, and insisted on using it.  And I will too, but with this caveat: I will only use the term if I can make it clear that it’s meant to redefine the world’s concept of perfect.  Christian perfection isn’t a comparison or a measuring up or being best or having it all together.  It’s rooted first in God’s grace and second in your desire to love God and others.  God’s grace already loves you just as you are, already declares you worthy no matter what, and relentlessly holds onto you even when you get engaged to a felon or overstep your clergy ethics.  Your desire to love God and love others with the attitude of Christ may not always result in the right action.  You may struggle to trust your own ability to love God and others perfectly from this day forward.  But when you find yourself insufficient, God’s grace is sufficient (2 Cor 12:9), when you find yourself unfaithful, God who began a good work is faithful to complete it in you (Php 1:6), when you don’t have what it takes, God equips you with everything you need to do God’s will (Heb 13:21).

Maybe you’re not perfect.  Maybe you’ve made some bad relationship choices.  Maybe you’ve got it all together now, but some day in the future you really blow it.  Remember God’s grace calls you worthy. Christ died for all and even for you.  Christ’s love is never-failing, even when our love fails over and over.